motherhood – Page 2

3 Life-Changing Lessons I Learned in 2020

Can you believe that the year is over in a matter of days? WHAT A YEAR! 2020 definitely has been full of twists and turns. I’m walking away from this year with viewpoints I didn’t imagine. Between having a baby and being quarantined for most of the year, I’ve had to learn to keep sane and push forward. As I reflect on the year, here are the three things I’ve learned that I plan to continue to value as the years continue.

Don’t undervalue your community

Being a new mom in a pandemic has its pros and cons. I enjoy having space and time to bond with Avianna however, I feel like we are missing out on play dates and family gatherings. I get really stuck some days feeling like we are missing out on so much. I don’t know about you, but my phone screen timed has increased because I’m looking into online mom groups and online shopping (okay, most of it is online shopping). The pandemic has paved the way for moms to connect outside of being in-person. It’s been great being a part of these groups since there is plenty of shared information and experiences. In addition to the mom groups, my loved ones have also figured out how to be supportive without being in-person. There are always kind texts and calls that make the day better. It’s nice to have people check-in and be there to listen and support.

Take a moment & pace yourself

Pandemic or not, having a moment to yourself to restore is essential. It’s hard as heck raising a kid, taking classes, trying to get my pre-prego body back, having sexy time with Diego, working a full-time job, and other responsibilities around the house. I cannot even tell you the last time I slept through an entire night. I’ve had to come to terms that not everything needs to be done in a day. It’s mandatory that I set aside time for myself every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY! Most of the time, I use my time set aside to absolutely do nothing and watch a couple of episodes of my favorite shows.

Spend Time Doing Something That Interest You

I would really be stir crazy if I didn’t have activities in the week that I enjoy. In the past year, I’ve started to take classes, launched a website, and started a podcast (somewhat). I never thought I would like taking informatic courses! At first, I struggled to get into the groove of being in school again but now I have a schedule and I’m enjoying the weekly content ways I can use these courses to claim my bag. Aside from classes, creating this blog has been a fun getaway from the pandemic disaster. I’m looking forward to growing my audience and content over the next year.

Who the hell knows what 2021 will bring. As I see it, we will still face pandemic restrictions while we figure out the new normal for a few months longer. Let’s continue to show gratitude, be humble, and social distance as we roll into 2021. What lessons are you taking with you into the new year?

‘Tis the Season For An Overloaded Mom

I have tons more respect and kudos for my mom since becoming a mother. She always made sure holidays were on point. Her story is inspiring and a whole blog topic for another day. Before having a child, I didn’t care too much about holidays at my home once I moved out. I would stay in bed, binge watch my favorite shows, and wait to get a plate from my mom’s house. I wasn’t in a serious relationship where holidays were a big deal either, so I just went with the flow.

This year, whew! Between decorating, planning meals, setting the family budget, PLUS planning gifts, and prioritizing covid, it’s been stressful. Is this how all moms feel? Why is the responsibility on us to create the aura during the holiday season? I’m not going to say that I completely hate having most of the responsibility. It’s just a lot to have in order on top of everything else I do. When it’s all said and done, I enjoy the smiles on my family’s faces.

I did a little bit of research about the responsibilities of a mother during the holiday season, and it’s common for moms to feel burnout and stress. Most of what I read centered on the common theme of canceling the idea of a “perfect” holiday and focusing on what is important. I spent hours decorating the tree and Avianna unraveled the garland, several ornaments are missing, and the tree skirt has never been in place for more than 60 seconds. At this point, forget the tree skirt, it’s not vital and the ornaments aren’t important. She’s too young to understand what Christmas is right now, so I begin to ask myself, why put a ton of pressure on myself on decorations when she will think they are her toys. I’ve become way more relaxed about the holiday since having this realization. It’s to the extent where I’m not even sure what we are having for dinner on Christmas ( I REALLY need to figure this out!). To keep sane, I’m focusing more on family time and taking pictures for Avi’s scrapbook.

For all of the moms reading, do you feel a heavier load during the holiday times? Does this get better with experience, and what strategies have you tried to alleviate the stress?

How I’m Managing My Postpartum Struggles

I hope my readers had a great Thanksgiving day. I took the week off from blogging to focus on family time. Even though I took the week off, I constantly thought about what content to publish next.

This week, I’d like to focus on my postpartum journey and particularly highlight a couple of struggles I’m facing. I’ve made it 7 months with my LO (woohoo). She’s crawling, pulling herself up to stand, loves eating beans and tortillas, and allows me to sleep for about 5ish hours in one stretch.

I’ve noticed that while I’m learning how to take care of my child, I’ve lost touch with how to take care of myself.

One thing that consistently crosses my mind being postpartum, is the idea of who I was BEFORE having a baby and the things I could accomplish BEFORE baby. I have always had a hustler’s personality and could juggle a ton of tasks at once. Now, it’s just not as easily possible with the shift in my priorities. I’m learning to enjoy everyday and to not think of life as a race.

I also struggle with accepting my postpartum body. I gained about 40lbs during pregnancy and seven months later, I am carrying 35 of those pounds. I wear baggy clothes and just am having a hard time feeling confident. If you knew me a year ago, you know I would radiate confidence so, it’s challenging not to be comfortable and confident with my postpartum body. I spoke with my friends who also have children and, they do such a great job of comforting me and giving me suggestions on changing my thought process. I believe one of them said, “You just birthed a WHOLE human. It is going to take some time”. Putting everything into perspective makes this journey easier to handle. There are a couple of lifestyle changes I am working towards but, ultimately, I am focusing on being gentle towards myself.

I would love to hear from you because your experiences are inspiring for me when overcoming these difficulties. What did you struggle with after having your baby? Explain how you got through those tough times.